Summer by Perth's Coastline, WA

So it's finally September, and the anticipation of Summer has already hit Perth.
That penetrative blanket of dry heat makes you feel more relaxed, the days get longer, we wear less clothing, the skies are clearer and brighter, and more dehydration happens, but generally everyone is happier because we all get holidays and more parties to attend!

Living right on the coastline of the city I have never had a bad summer in WA, it gets a 5 star review every time, but summer can bite your ass if you aren't careful.
We might be supple, young and healthy but we are NOT invincible. Especially if you are white like me.

- Avoid Dehydration! Especially at festivals, and during the day, and when you are drinking/drugged out. Having your muscles ache and you brain shrinking in your head fucking hurts! I'm serious, it can really ruin a great day and you won't even know why you are dizzy or moody.

- Wear lots of SPF. Heat feels good but UV rays are bad. If you are hispanic or olive skinned you are not black and the rule still applies! You will still look like a leather handbag later.
Have you seen the skin color of Native Aussies? That is how we are supposed to be. If you have that much melanin, then you should be okay, otherwise our genes aren't ready for it and you need to protect yourself from the sunlight fires. You are not black if you are Latino, Spain's weather is no where near as dangerous as the heat in Australia.

- Moisturize! This is not as important and SPF, but at nighttime try to use a rich moisturizer especially on your face. The air is very dry in Australia, more so than most countries. It's great for keeping hairstyles and makeup in place (You will have a rude Back-to-Basics awakening in Tropical Climates) but you need to condition your hair a shit load (leave it on your hair) because salt and wind snaps it off. Unless you want to be frizzy haired and red-faced you need to have some rehab time replace the oils in your hair and replace the oils in your skin. Shea butter, coconut oil, avocado, whatever the hell you can find to make a wash-off mask out of. There is NO excuse.

- Get enough sleep. Coffee dehydrates you also so don't compensate! Swap coffee for water & something hydrating like green tea. Green tea works wonders for hydration and doesn't give you ''comedowns'' (If you have sleeping/energy problems, get some meds from a doctor or trusted friend to help you out).

- Have down-time. Your social timetable will probably be packed with things to do, however try to limit yourself. Drinking and exhaustion will catch up with you, and you will be a frazzled broken mess. Before you try to please everyone else by saying yes to every invite, quit being so anxious and please YOURSELF. Stay in at least 3 days a week or something. Eat well, go to the gym to burn of the alcohol, de-clutter your head and get a hobby or do something educational so you have more going on in your head than partying. You will be more interesting to talk to and much more chill. Being the Constant Drunkard doesn't always equal Social Butterfly.


SORT YOURSELF OUT>>

SKIN:
Look at your skin, eyes and general pigment.
Australia is generally a white population. English, East-Europeans, Asians, Latinos be warned too, we are all white! You might be Spanish, but I promise you that Spain is no where near as harsh a climate as the desert island that is Australia, have respect for the climate and your skin.
If your human body evolved in the Northern Hemisphere for thousands of years before your family migrated to a desert, your skin is going to take a few hundred generations to adapt. It's just common sense. You might live here but your body isn't actually right for the climate, and you want to stay young looking for as long as you can!
Fake tans, hair dye and other decorations shouldn't make you forget your TRUE pigment levels. People do get spray tans and forget to wear SPF. Even if you are actually tanned (from white), that is a sign of skin damage.
Most of us including myself, are naturally fair despite whatever makeup or hair dye we might use. Makeup doesn't protect your body from UV rays. DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND. NOW? Load up on SPF.


CLOTHING:
Minimal clothing, but keep it tasteful. Try to cover up your upper body when you can, like if you are sitting in the sun for long periods of time. Your neck, face and arms are targets for UV rays. Use breathable fabrics obviously, and stuff that is easy to move in (tight= suffocated pores). Same goes for shoes. Girls are lucky because we have lots of choices with shoes. Then again guys are lucky because their legs seem to always look really good in shorts even if they don't work out or diet.
As for parties (and clubs) girls still need to remain very careful of short hemlines and tops that might fall down. If you want to relax and be merry you don't wanna be worried about your outfit all night.
The key thing about little clothing is that a fit body looks good in everything, and so you'll waste less time deciding what to wear. More time at the gym, less time wasting money on clothes because you feel anxious.
Exercise also makes you feel really good because it gets new blood flowing quickly around the body and into the organs, releases feel-good brain chemicals, reduces stress and anxiety by wearing you out, increases general energy and endurance levels, can actually cure depression and gets rid of pollutants and toxins through the skin.


TECHNOLOGY:
Cultivate technology! Imagine what it would of been like a hundred years ago working on a rail road in the desert and cooking into beef jerky. No ipods, no sunscreen or vitamin water. It's not like that now, so be grateful and get on it.
Manufactured electrolytes, air-conditioners, hair conditioners, SPF, unlimited water, shade, sunglasses, light fabrics and other chill out essentials that white people can use to make summer in a desert the most ideal summer ever! We can cope better with heat using the help of all these things, and have way more fun.


CROWDS:
Be wary of massive crowds in summer. A lot of festivals happen and a lot of people attend. Most of them are rowdy and drunk or on stimulants, and if you have a small body size like me then 90 percent of those people are going to be slightly or significantly larger than you. You will get shoved, crushed, and won't be able to see anything. I actually hate crowded, hot places. Mainly because I can't breathe, I need to grapple my male counterparts to get their attention yet fight the groping of unwanted attention, and my face reaches other people's upper bodies so having many random people accidentally brush sweat against my face is a pretty disgusting thought. You are likely to be thirsty and dizzy, and if you do manage to stay quenched then you will be waiting in line for the porta-loo a lot. Who spends hundreds of dollars on tickets, transport, clothes, drugs, food and beverage to wait in a queue for half a day? Not me. It's a wonderful business idea of course, you'd make a shit load of money. But as a consumer I don't buy into it. Parties are more my thing.
If someone is in your way in a crowd, firmly but slowly push them to the side and if they don't move fall into them and act like someone pushed you.
Dealing with guys; If you are small like me you can be pretty forceful because when the person sees you after you shove them with both hands they realize they can't do anything.
Dealing with girls; Don't be rough with girls in case the girl is crazy, just use affection to move them, like touching their waist or something when shifting them. Always be nice and smile so they know you respect their space and you just need to get by. Don't shove girls because they might pull your hair or something.
But generally try to avoid all places where there will be hair pulling girls and guys who spill beer over your head.


If you are like me and plan to be living and still going out to social events into old age looking more like Sharon Stone or Michelle Pfeiffer than the old lady from "There's Something About Mary", then stop thinking you are an Amazon King or Queen and above all this stuff. You can't see wrinkles yet but they are going to slap you in the face really soon if you don't look out. You also don't want to poison your body with too much shit or wear yourself out by not getting enough sleep or drinking enough water. It's not just about preservation of your youth of course, it's just general overall health and keeping energy levels and moods up.